Never be the same again

Disclaimer: See the Fan Fiction Page
Dedication: I wrote this one for a very nice friend of mine – Dominique – who begged so nicely for it J I hope this is what you wanted.
Thanks go to Sandra for giving me advices. You were really helpful! I also want to thank my betas – Panther and Elaine, for doing such a great job and for being so patient with me J .
Note: This story was inspired by the song "Never be the same again" sung by MelC. You can find the lyrics at the end of the story.
Additional Disclaimer: The lyrics of "Never be the same again" are the property of whoever wrote it…

The Sentinel
- Never be the same again -
written by Slashy Fox (May 2001)

"Come on Jim, you sure as hell don’t need yet *another* pair of white socks. You have more than enough," I hear Blair say, before he’s dragging me away from the socks.

"But the older ones are fading out."

He stops immediately in his tracks and glances unbelievingly at me.

"They do what?! Jim! Those are *white* socks. They just *can’t* fade out!"

"But they do. I can tell the difference."

I really can.

"But no one else can."

"I can. And I’ve decided I need new ones."

"Okay, if it’s really necessary."

I hear Blair chuckling, but I decide to ignore it and move on.

An hour later we finish our shopping and leave the building, still laughing about some of the 'fashions' displayed in some of the trendier stores, and with our arms full of bags. White socks and a Santana CD for me, strange herbs and some new books for Blair, and of course the usual groceries.

The parking lot is almost empty, since the mall is now closed and everyone else has already gone home.

While crossing to the truck, I can suddenly hear a group of six men approaching. Why didn’t I notice them before? Shrugging mentally I decide to just ignore them, but they had already encircled us.

"Hey, you two fags," one of them – obviously the leader – shouts at us.

"C’mon, why don’t you just leave us alone, huh," I answer calmly. I don’t need any trouble tonight.

"Why should we?"

"’Cause we don’t want any trouble with you, okay? Just move on and we’ll forget we ever saw you."

"Fucking people like you are scum. You’re fucking supposed to protect and support us, but instead you walk around with your little boy toy. You sons of bitches don’t have any rights!"

Although I can already feel my anger rising, I motion Blair to go forwards and try to get past the group.

"C’mon, Chief. We don’t need to listen to this bullshit."

But we don’t get far and now two of those guys grab a hold of Blair.

"This son of a bitch is a pretty one. You want us to show you how to play with him?"

That’s enough. I feel the heat of rage burning my cheeks and take a step towards the leader, and slam my right fist into his face. Immediately two of the other men grab my arms and hold me back. Taking my last chance to land a blow on the leader, I jump, using the two men behind me as support and kick the guy in front of me into his face. His nose starts to bleed and I can tell that it’s broken.

My thoughts turned to Blair. Because of the fight I don’t have any idea what has happened to him. This makes me start to panic. I tilt my head to look at Blair and without really noticing, I automatically listen to his heartbeat. They are still holding him back, but at least they haven’t hurt him – and obviously don’t intend to.

Being too focused on Blair, I don’t notice the baseball bat until I feel the impact in my right side. I can feel several ribs cracking and breathing is suddenly hard for me. I gasp in pain. But that’s only the beginning. They continue kicking and hitting my lower body. I feel nausea overwhelming me and the pain is almost unbearable. I don’t feel single blows any more, just my body screaming in pain. But I won’t satisfy those damn assholes. I won’t scream.

As if from a distance I can hear Blair’s screaming, "JIM! Let him go, please!"

I can tell from his voice that there are tears.

Again, I fight down the urge to scream as a fist is slammed repeatedly into my face. I can sense the metallic tang of blood as my nose breaks. My legs have stopped supporting me. The only thing that keeps me from falling is those guys holding me up. The taste of blood makes me sick. I can’t breathe. I start to choke, fighting for consciousness. From a distance I can hear sirens. Police. They are too far away so those bastards can’t hear them, but they are approaching us. So I just have to hold onto consciousness until they are here.

"You enjoy playing with this long-haired son of a bitch here? Well, you won’t be able to do it for the next few weeks!"

I can hear one of the guys say.

I want to look at Blair. But my muscles don’t obey any more. Just a second later I hear myself screaming in agony when the fingers of my right hand are bent in an unnatural way and the bones break. The pain is too much for me and I am close to losing consciousness.

All that keeps me awake is the steady heartbeat of Blair, which I am still concentrating on. And the sound of the sirens, now loud enough to be heard.

"The cops are coming! Let’s get out of here," one of those bastards yells.

"Just let me finish this, okay," the leader says.

God, I don’t want to know what that means.

All of a sudden I see lights reflecting on a knife and seconds later I feel nothing but unbearable pain as the knife moves slowly through the flesh of my chest. I hear someone screaming. When the two men drop me I welcome the coolness of the ground not feeling anything but the pain.

"JIM! Oh my god!" I can hear Blair screaming.

He’s murmuring soothing words as he cradles my almost unconscious body in his lap. I look up, my eyes meeting his crystal-blue orbs.

And then everything fades.

~~~~~

Light, too bright light, antiseptic smell. Gentle hands stroking my face.

"Good, you’re finally awake, Jim."

Slowly I open my eyes. Puzzled, I croak, "Where…? Oh. Hospital."

I hate hospitals. I hate the food. I hate being woke up at six in the morning. And those gowns. Why do they have to be "open" at the back? They are embarrassing. I so don’t want to be here.

Blair looks at me, half-concerned, half-amused.

"Yeah. You’ve been beaten up pretty badly. Four broken fingers on your right hand, six broken ribs, bruised kidneys, a broken nose, a mild concussion, a long cut over your chest and bruises all over your body."

Blair finishes his report.

I sigh.

"Great. Do they plan to keep me here?"

"Just overnight. They want to be sure that there won’t be any infection. I convinced them that you’d rest better at home."

"Good. I hate hospitals."

I sigh again – and wince in pain when I’m suddenly reminded of my broken ribs. "So I can leave by tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

Guess I was lucky, considering the circumstances.

"Where in the hell did they get the idea that we’re a gay couple?" I ask Blair.

"Think about it, Jim. Someone who doesn’t know us, but watches us might get that idea. I mean, we do everything together, we live together and you have to admit that you do touch me a lot, putting your hand on my shoulder or my back."

"Yeah, but you know what’s really bothering me? Why do things like this still happen? I mean, this is the twenty-first century and people are still discriminated against for being different. I just don’t get it. It’s so stupid!"

"I know, but that’s society, man! It’s always been like this and it won’t change."

"Did they get those bastards?"

I ask him. I really hope so. Damnit, if I could I’d like to interrogate them myself.

"Yeah. It wasn’t hard to track them down, since I could tell Simon exactly what they looked like. They are known for trouble and so they were registered in the database. Rafe and H interrogated them and they bragged about what they did to you! I can’t believe it!"

"Those sons of bitches. They would’ve killed us if the cops didn’t show up. And I don’t want to think about, that it could have been you they’d beaten up."

"Jim, it’s over now. They got them and they will go to prison for quite a long time. C’mon, you’ll need to rest."

"Yeah. Guess you’re right."

Blair is trying to calm me down. He’s stroking my forehead, soothing me. I can see the anger in his eyes, though. He’s raging inside. But there’s something else showing in his eyes. Regret? I still wonder what this means, as I’m drifting off into a healing sleep.

~~~~~

I watch him sleeping peacefully on the couch. We moved his bed downstairs, so Jim won’t need to take the stairs every time he has to go to the bathroom.

God. Even with a bruised face, he’s still so beautiful. Wish I could… I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts. I don’t really succeed.

Anyway, it’s time to change the bandages on Jim’s chest. I go to the bathroom to get the bandages and the antibiotic cream, trying not to think of his athletic body.

Returning to the living room, I carefully wake Jim up. "Hey buddy! Time for changing the bandages."

"Hmmm…"

Was his only answer.

I begin unbuttoning Jim’s shirt – taking care of his injuries. He’s in enough pain without me causing any more. I hiss as I get a first look at the wound on Jim’s chest. It looks real bad. Though the doctors assured us that it isn’t deep enough to leave scars, I can imagine how this must hurt. Especially Jim. I swallow. How I’d like to… No. I have to stop myself.

He seems to realize my uneasiness, though he doesn’t know what it’s really about.

"It’s okay, Blair. It looks worse than it is. It’s doesn’t hurt that bad – not anymore."

Slowly, I begin applying the healing cream on Jim’s chest. Sighing mentally, I watch as Jim’s sensitive nipples get hard as I brush them. So sensitive and beautiful…

I can’t stop myself as I’m bending over this wonderful chest. I take a deep breath, slowly moving closer – and finally plant a kiss on the right nipple, sucking it lightly. His skin tastes good, and I smile as his nipple is hardens even more. I resist the urge to play with it with my tongue.

I jerk a bit when Jim suddenly yelps.

"Sandburg? What are you doing?"

Immediately, I stop embarrassed.

"Sorry Jim. I was…"

"No. It was okay. I mean it felt good. Would you please do it again?"

"What? This?"

I continue sucking the nipple, this time a little harder. I let my tongue play with it and stroke my hands over Jim’s muscular upper body. I smile as I hear the moans escaping from Jim. God, he’s enjoying this!

I slowly begin working my way upward, until my mouth is covering Jim’s. I kiss him passionately. It feels odd to kiss him, but I love it! I love the taste of his mouth, the rough surface of his tongue. He’s moaning under the kiss and those moans are sending shivers through my body. His left hand is stroking gently over my back and I feel waves of pleasure running through me. The kissing goes on until we both feel the need to breathe. Gasping for air we break apart. This kiss was better than anything before.

I mumble, "Why didn’t we realize it before? That we’re in love with each other?"

"Dunno. But it feels good," he answers with a smirk.

I begin working my way downward again, kissing and licking Jim’s waiting body. As I stroke over a sensitive spot just beneath his navel, I feel his body shivering. I smile, licking this spot a bit more, enjoying the way he’s responding to this. I can feel his beginning arousal.

Still smiling I ask, "Got your sense of touch turned all the way up, huh?"

He nods faintly.

"Good."

Slowly, I begin unzipping Jim’s jeans and removing them. Still kissing and caressing the sensitive spot I’ve just found, I remove his boxers as well. I gasp a little as I get a first look on Jim’s half-hardened cock. I have never done this before and I can tell from Jim’s face that this is also new to him. God, I SO don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t think about what to do next – it all seems so natural to me. I bend down, feeling the curly hair tickling my nose and place a kiss on the top of his cock. It sent another shiver through him. He’s now fully aroused, and moaning incoherently. His eyes are closed, his head tipped back and a wide smile appeared on his face. I hesitate only a second before I close my mouth around Jim’s aroused cock. Jim’s almost purring as I’m slowly licking and sucking it. He tries to press deeper into my mouth with his hips, when he is painfully reminded of his broken ribs. I look up to see if he’s hurt, but he already has his eyes closed again. So he has finally decided to let go, to let me do all the work. Good. He tastes so good!

I have to get rid of my clothes, before I come in my pants. Sighing, I stop sucking his cock and quickly take off my clothes. I smile as I feel his gaze wandering over my naked body. He’s begging silently with his eyes. God! He needs me so bad. Smiling, I bend down again, slowly licking the whole length of his shaft. I can see the first drops leaking out and lick them. His whole body is shivering and he’s murmuring incoherently. Deep groans escape from his throat.

"Blair… you’re… going to… kill me… if you keep… this up."

With an evil smile I close my mouth again around his cock, this time taking its full length. It feels so incredibly good having his cock deep down in my throat. I moan, as I can feel it swelling even more inside my mouth.

"Oh god… Blair… I’m gonna come!"

OH MY GOD! I can’t believe it! He’s coming inside my throat! Each of his shivers is sending electric jolts through my body. From a distance I can hear him screaming my name. This is so hot, that I can’t prevent myself from coming! I’m spurting my semen all over the sheets.

This was the hottest experience I’ve ever had. My whole body is trembling and boneless and we’re both bathed in sweat. I look up – just to meet Jim’s gaze. He’s smiling and panting heavily.

"Chief, this is better than any other kind of painkillers. I’ve completely forgotten about my injuries. God, I don’t know why it took me so long, but I love you, Blair."

"Aw man Jim, I love you, too!"

"And I don’t regret a single moment of this."

"Yeah, same here. Man, this was so... beautiful, so hot. I still can’t believe it. You’ve never done this before, Jim. Right?"

He nods. "I’ve always thought that I’m straight. But somehow… I missed something. That’s why the marriage with Carolyn didn’t work. And you?"

"First time for me, either. I mean, I’ve had this feeling that I’m bi since I was sixteen years old. But I never wanted to admit it. So I started hunting down all those beautiful girls, taking them out for dinner. Things like this."

"God, we were so stupid." Jim says with a wide smile on his face. "But I’m glad it turned out… this… way."

I smile as I watch Jim’s eyes slowly shut. I bend over to place a kiss on his eyes. Leaning back again, I watch him sleeping peacefully. Yeah. Tonight changed everything.

THE END

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Never Be The Same Again

Come on
Ooh yeah
Never be the same again

I call you up whenever things go wrong
You're always there
You are my shoulder to cry on
I can't believe it took me so long
To take the forbidden step
Is this something that I might regret
(Come on come on)
Nothing ventured nothing gained
(You are the one)
A lonely heart that can't be tamed
(Come on come on)
I'm hoping that you feel the same
This is something that I can't forget

I thought that we would just be friends
Things will never be the same again
It's just the beginning it's not the end
Things will never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never, never be the same again
Never be the same again

Now I know that we were close before
I'm glad I realized I need you so much more
And I don't care what every one will say
It's about you and me
And we'll never be the same again

I though that we would just be friends
(Oh yeah)
Things will never be the same again
Never be the same again
It's just the beginning it's not the end
(We've only just begun)
Things will never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
(Opened up the door)
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never never be the same again
Never be the same again

[Left Eye (rap):]

Nite and day
Black beach sand to red clay
The US to UK
NYC to LA
From sidewalks to highways
See it'll never be the same
What I'm sayin' my mind frame never changed till you
came and rearranged
But sometimes it seems completely forbidden
To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden
When there's no competition
And you render my condition
Though improbable it's not impossible
For a love that could be unstoppable
But wait
A fine line's between fate and destiny
Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?
When you tell me the stories of your quest for me
Picturesque is the picture you paint effortlessly and
As our energies mix and begin to multiply
Everyday situations
They start to simplify
So things will never be the same between you and I
We intertwined our life forces and now we're unified

(repeat)